How do people move on so quickly? I’m still sprung over someone I was dating and he found someone else so fast. I feel hurt because I’m still head over heels over him while he’s out enjoying his life with someone new
07.06.2025 14:38
You put on a brave face, particularly if you’re a man of a certain age. I’m not ancient yet, but I grew up at a time when men were basically told to take all of their fears and sadness and bury them deep inside forever. Women appear to let out their emotions immediately, then move on, these are stereotypes for a reason, and I think they’re still true for most, but we’re all different, and I don’t think anyone really knows for sure.
The first real relationship is usually the most difficult to recover from. You think you’ll be that one couple to beat the odds and stay together forever despite never having been in a deep, committed relationship before, and almost all of us are wrong.
If you lived with parents who should have gotten divorced but never did, you enter relationships with an expectation that even if they go sour, you’ll both stay together anyway, and it’s a blow to discover this just isn’t true.
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Some people move on before they’re ready (rebound relationships), others have more realistic expectations, but if you’ve ever been in a relationship where you both loved each other, I don’t think either person ever fully gets over it. You learn from it, you move on, or you decide relationships just aren’t for you, but you’re still hurt, and you should be. Failure hurts.
There’s some validity in the answers I’ve read, but in general, it comes down to upbringing.
Having a support network helps, and some friends will pull you out of the mire whether you admit you’re hurting or not.
You will move on, you’ll find someone new, and you’ll both probably screw that up, too, but it gets easier.
Women seem to recover more quickly than men, and I think this is because the average woman has more opportunities than the average man.
What I do know is that if you two were serious, he’s probably hurting more than he shows, and you should never go back.
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I’ve never been more attractive to other women than when I’ve had a girlfriend. This might sound shitty or sexist, but there is an evolutionary basis to this.
I went back once, and I found out my ex was just as hurt and messed up as I was, and we both thought the other was better at hiding it. We broke up again, and what hurts the most is that in both cases, I don’t think either of us got a fair shot, which was why we got back together. We thought we deserved a better chance, but life doesn’t work like that.
Good luck and hang in there.
When a woman sees you have a girlfriend, as long as you aren’t a complete scumbag, they figure your girlfriend has already judged you to be a decent partner, or someone worth investing time in. Men poach too, but it doesn’t seem as deliberate.